She Said That: Wishing My Life Away

You can either clean up your toys, have a bath, or go straight to bed. There, I gave you three choices like you asked. No, I want 15 choices.. Oh, OK. Because you're three, I definitely want to think of 12 more choices just so you'll be quiet. You know what, here's a phone, call me when you're six like your sister.

Unfortunately, when you're six, I'll be 39, well on my way to 40. Not that that's an issue for me, it's the fact that I keep wishing you through your life, and in turn wishing my own life away that I find disturbing. Today Ella told me that I was so much prettier when I was younger. In my defense she was referring to my wedding photo where I definitely looked pretty. I explained that everyone looks their absolute best on their wedding day and if I wanted to I could still look like that. Well, no I probably couldn't, but it felt like the right thing to say. Because right after we got married I got pregnant with Ella, and man did I wish those baby years away, and now she's a rock star kid and I'm doing the same thing with Cole. Three is so cute, and his nickname is Squish.. but it's so hard. It's determined, and stubborn, and it never listens (definitely not the first time). I can't use the same methods I used with Ella - which is fine because I wouldn't want to revisit Ella's three-year old year - but I wish I could figure out how to make each day less of a struggle, so I could stop wishing them away.