Some Advice - Hard Learned

I'm going to throw some advice out there.  Maybe through some blogger god osmosis it'll do somebody some good and make their mom day a little easier.

1.  Baby Advice: When you are a new mom, and throughout all stages of your child's life, read what the experts have to say, but take the advice that applies to your natural instincts as a parent and the type of child you have.  I made a HUGE mistake of using the Attachment Parenting book by Dr. Sears as my baby bible.  Now this was a huge mistake for ME, maybe others could do well with it.  But I had a demanding child to start with and this book was telling me to give into her every whim.  I mean I wouldn't even let Ella cry, I nursed if she wasn't hungry, and carried her around in the Baby Bjorn until she was 9 months old.  That kid's feet never touched the ground.  She wouldn't be put down.  She couldn't soothe herself, she didn't nap and didn't sleep at night.  I thought I was going to die.  Finally, at her 9 month appointment I asked my doctor.  Mind you I thought I was doing everything right and had never complained or asked the doctor ANYTHING by this point.  He was like "are you ready?", uh yeah Dr. Rhodes, I'm freaking ready.  He said to let her cry.  What?  Hmmm... OK.  That day I put her down for a nap and I timed how long she cried.  Five minutes.  Then two hours of silent sound sleeping.  I should have asked Dr. Rhodes, not Dr. Sears from the beginning.  After Cole was born I read three different books and found that Baby Wise suited him best.  That kid slept through the night at a few weeks.

2.  Toddler/Kid Advice:  In a situation where another child is being aggressive toward your child, say your own child's name (loudly, with force, so both kids can hear you).  This way, the aggressive kid knows you're watching and will likely stop whatever he/she is doing and you can avoid a confrontation with the other kid's parents.  Your goal isn't to discipline the other child, it's just to get them to leave yours alone.

3.  All Ages:  Follow through.  It's very easy to say but less likely to happen consistently.  But it is probably the most important part of disciplining.  Every time an empty threat is made you lose some control, and bit by bit it will wear away completely (it is very hard to regain it).  On one of our park excursions when Ella was around 3 years old I told her it was time to leave.  She said, "why?" and  I said, "because I said so."  We left without drama. I felt the awe of other parents.  This happened because on another park excursion she would not cooperate and I picked her up screaming and put her in the car.  I warned her first and then I followed through (if this makes you uncomfortable pick a park you don't go to often - and if your child isn't a screamer then I'm very jealous).  If they ask "why" when you say you're leaving, I don't recommend saying because I'll give you a treat, or I'll take you to the toy store, or some other bribe just to avoid the confrontation.  Get it over with and you won't have to revisit it. (Well, you may have to do this a few times, but they'll get the point that when you say something you mean it; getting children to listen to instructions can be ridiculously frustrating.)